THE GLOBE
PO BOX 5079 (51102)
1825 JACKSON ST.
SIOUX CITY, IA (51105)
712.255.2550
800.352.9035
WWW.CATHOLICGLOBE.ORG

Denial Common In Women Alcoholics

By Mick Conway
Addictions
 
 
    Why does it take so long for chemical dependency to be identified in women?  One of the major reasons for this delay in identification of women alcoholics is the wide range of denial processes which they confront.  Denial has been a major concern in early detection of all alcoholics but the denial of the disease in women seems to be far greater than with men.
     Our culture has great difficulty accepting the fact that women, as well as men, become chemically dependent.  Generally, our society believes that women are supposed to drink like "ladies".  People often accept a male drunk and even think him funny at times, but they will not accept a drunken woman's behavior and many consider it inexcusable.  This is one of the reasons why women tend to be secretive drinkers rather than social drinkers, as with men.
     Families can also contribute tremendously to the denial process and often enable the progression of the disease.  It is difficult to intervene in these cases because the denial process is fostered by the families as well as by the dependent member.
     The community has also been part of the denial process.  Drinking is encouraged at social gatherings.  Often, members of the community are surprised to discover that someone has a drinking problem.  People may lose friends when they discover that the person is dependent on alcohol.  These friends may also feel threatened when the dependent person finally accepts the fact that he or she has lost control over their drinking and goes into treatment.  Many of these same friends will avoid inviting the recovering woman to their parties because they feel uncomfortable that she no longer drinks alcohol as they do.
     Many reasons and excuses are given by women regarding their drinking behavior.  Difficulties that women describe as reasons are often personal problems.  They may notice the insidious increase in drinking and loss of control but they attribute this to their inability to cope with life's problems.  Some women begin to wonder if they still have a purpose in life.  As a consequence, they lose self-esteem.
     An example of this is the situation where the husband progresses from college to a job and over the years increases his stature in the social and business community.  Suddenly, hiw wife feels left out.  In order to cope with this, she begins to increase the amount of alcohol she drinks.  Her husband then begins to resent the fact that she is drinking more.  He also resents how she may allow herself to become unattractive.  When he criticizes her antisocial behavior, she drinks more, usually with disastrous results, to boost her self-esteem.  Consequently, the situation ends in an unhappy marriage and often leads to divorce.
     Another problem some women have as they grow older is accepting the change in their lifestyles as their children leave home.  The emotional problems resulting from the "empty nest" have been well documented.  Women who devote their lives to their children and family find the void very difficult to fill when the children leave.  These women will often develop depression, increased anxiety, loneliness and boredom.  Coping becomes a problem and they turn to alcohol to fulfill the unmet needs.  The very devoted mother poses a particular problem.  This woman is used to exerting much energy on her children and, as such, has a tremendous vacuum to fill when they leave home.
     If these difficulties of nervousness, depression, anxiety, unhappiness, marital discord, loneliness or boredom are not successfully resolved, some women turn to alcohol and/or other drugs to give them temporary relief from their problems.
     As alcoholics, either women or men drift into the progression of their disease and they also drift away from the spirituality that had previously been important to them.  A sense of hopelessness prevails when they realize their drinking has caused unhappiness to themselves and to their loved ones.
     The need for for God's love is universal.  It transcends all earthly problems and reaching out to the Lord for His help is one of the best ways for an alcoholic to begin the road back to sobriety.  Asking God for His help is only a prayer away.
     "Whatever faces me at this time, I know that God has given me the power to set my world in order."