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Building Walls
By Mick Conway
Addictions
The Library of our Treatment Center holds many interesting and informative books about Addictions, behaviors and stress management. One of my favorites is a book entitled The Wall, a parable by Gloria Jay Evans.
The Wall is a story about how people build walls around themselves for protection. Alcoholism, Drug Addiction and Codependency lend themselves to wall-building because of the pain and hurt they feel as a consequence of their disease.
But I believe that even people who do not suffer from addictive diseases build walls, too. Putting up barriers is not uncommon for people who have a need for safety or security.
The stones that make up a wall might include resentment, fear, mistrust, jealousy, pride, imperfections or pettiness. Other stones might be named self-pity, indifference, disillusionment, childishness or stubbornness. Those stones, piled on top of each other, make a mighty fortress in which to hide.
Hiding is a lonely experience. There is no one to talk to, no one to laugh with, no one with whom to share tears and fears. That is why wall-building is such an unhappy endeavor. The isolation that occurs behind the wall does not keep people safe or secure. It keeps them imprisoned.
Walls are about boundaries. They tell people to stay away, don't invade my space. I have everything I need in my stones to make my life the way I want it to be, thank you very much. I can hold others at bay with my stones. They will protect me from further hurt. My stones are who I am.
The problem is that some walls get so high that no light or sound can penetrate them. Not the love of God. Not the love of man. It is easy to feel forsaken when the wall keeps out that which is so vital to human life.
But God speaks to those behind walls with encouragement and mercy. His presence can slip through the stones and mortar with encouragement and mercy. His presence can slip through the cracks of stones and mortar which entomb the wall-builder. The openings in the wall are where He slips His hand through for the wall-builder to grasp and hold as the first sign of rescue.
Walls can be dismantled one stone at a time but the effort requires dedication and purpose. The wall did not go up in a day and neither will it come down in a day. When stones are removed, the reward is seeing things that have not been seen for a long time. Dewdrops, ladybugs, sun beams, blades of grass. It is a resurrection experience to break down the stone wall. It sets the captive free.
The Blessed Presence, Our Lord, helps remove the stones, one day at a time. His light shines in where desolation has been, penetrating the darkness by His Blessed Light.
The Blessed Presence helps to remove the stone wall, one pebble, one chip at a time. It becomes a collaboration between the wall-builder and The Lord, confidently working together to dismantle the edifice of false security.
We all hide behind walls of one size or another. Some of our walls are low, they can be leapt over. Some rise mightily to the sky, blocking out the sun and it's warmth. But no wall is perfect. Stones tumble from the force of the earth or from the force of God's love.
We have all heard the term, stonewalling. The walls we build with our personal stones don't keep the enemy away. They keep the enemy within.