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Do we practice what we preach

By Mick Conway
Addictions

 
“All brothers are to preach by their works.” St. Francis of Assisi.

The words of this great saint are a haunting reminder that our time on this earth is measured by how we treat others. If we are to honor God by preaching kindness, humility, assistance and love, our actions will be rewarded.

It is sometimes difficult to practice what we preach. If alcoholism or drug addiction is causing chaos in a home, it is hard to consistently be charitable. In the land of chaos, you will need grounding and perspective.

The grounding comes from prayer. That relationship with God is fundamental to survival when all around you is madness. Living in an alcoholic home is not easy but when God is present, even the most upsetting events can be endured.

The perspective may take a little work. Looking into the future for alcoholic families can be a frightening specter. If things are always going to be the way they are now, it seems hopeless. But changing our view of the future restores hope and encourages us to go on.

Perspective starts with one's self. Can I force the alcoholic/addict to stop their destructive behavior? The answer is no. The only one we can change is ourself. When we attempt to cajole, insist, threaten or harass another person, it does not work. It's an exercise in futility and we are the ones who suffer. If the only person we can change is ourself and that is where to begin.

Making a mental shift from directing all the failed efforts to reforming another person is usually a slow, if not impossible task. Spend that energy on changing yourself.

Take care of your physical needs by focusing on eating healthy foods, exercising even if it is only minimally and get plenty of sleep.

Feed your emotional self like you feed your body – with healthy thoughts and deeds. Get with some friends, volunteer at a church or community event, get back to a prior hobby or develop a new one. Have some fun. Laugh!

Take hold of God's hand and bring Him into your new life. He is the perfect companion.

What you envision will guide you. Look to the future with confidence and joy. Make plans for yourself and others in your life because optimism is contagious. If you change your attitude from misery to enthusiasm, others will catch it.

What kind of person do you want to be? What is possible? How will you accomplish it? If you change your perceptions one day at a time the task won't seem so daunting.

An important component of changing oneself in the quest for survival is compassion for the alcoholic/addict. Don't forget about compassion for it is profound and deep.

The alcoholic/addict may notice your new attitude and wish to be part of it. The changes that must be made for your loved one to join you are the responsibility of that person alone, not you. Your encouragement and kindness may be a large part of that change for “all brothers are to preach by their good works”.

That is your contribution to the effort.